Obedience is an Act of Love

Month 1 (which consisted of about two and a half months [don’t ask how that works cuz I don’t know]) is over! Tonight we’re traveling to Costa Rica.

Our time in Guatemala was a doozy. My team had a tremendous time in Chichicastenango and got to see a lot more fruit than most short-term missions trip get to. I’m so grateful for the amazing opportunity God gave us and everything He’s done and will continue to do there.

But for me personally it was a really difficult time. I plan to make another post about how God and the devil were both at work, but to summarize I felt alone and missed my home. Of course I was not alone, I had an amazing team and God was right beside me the whole time, but at the time I was very eager for August to arrive so I could return to the comforts of home and family.

The five teams have since regrouped and “debriefed” our ministries. During this time at least nine squadmates have asked me to stay for the full eleven months. My response every time has been, “Heh, heh…. No.”

When I first signed up to relaunch with I Squad I was clueless as to what I was supposed to do. I didn’t know if I even wanted to stay on the World Race, and I definitely didn’t know if God was leading me there. I knew He’d wanted me to launch last year with C Squad, but then He’d sent me home. I didn’t feel His lead to relaunch or stay, so signing up for 7ish months felt like a safe medium.

During the difficult first “month” I was relieved I was only on the Race for seven months. I knew I was where He wanted me, but I was eager to go where I wanted.

Then on the first day of debrief the thought occurred to me to stay for the extra four. Then the entire squad asked me to stay. Then a close friend reminded me that this is the perfect time in my life to be doing this. Then my squad mentor reminded me that surrendering to God means more than giving up seven months.

Everything was pointing towards God asking me to stay on the Race, but I just didn’t want to give Him a yes. I’d already surrendered seven months, and in my mind it was time to get what I wanted.

“Going the extra mile” for holiness has been a passion of mine for years. It’s determined my dress, my music, what movies I watch, how I interact with my family and community. But I was battling going the extra mile in surrender. 

Hypothetically speaking, even if the rest of my World Race was to be absolutely miserable what does it matter so long as I obey Him? My feelings do not determine my obedience. Christ’s obedience led Him to the cross. My obedience, in a worse case scenario, would lead me to four months of slightly uncomfortable missions work.

Obedience is not a sacrifice, it’s an act of love. And I love God, I love my squad and my team, I love having what He has to offer more than the desires of my flesh.

So I get the amazing opportunity to stay on the World Race for the full eleven months. It’s going to be awesome to see how God uses me and grows me in that time.

Quick shameless plug, in order for to do this I need to raise up about $5000 within the next two months. If you want to partner with me in this and make it possible for me to stay on the World Race for the full time please feel free to donate. AIM will be updating my blog in the next few days and will show how much I still need. Feel free donate directly there or contact me.