From Shame to Joy

Training Camp was incredible, and full of incredible moments. But by far one of the biggest ones was this: I was baptized!!

Sitting in the cold water, I explained to one of the most incredible group of people in the world why I had chosen to do this then and there: I was baptized as a little kid, but there was very little heart behind it. My little sister was also being baptized and there was no way I was going to be outdone by her. For two years I’d been wanting to be baptized again, and on at least five occasions almost went to the powers-that-be to have it done. But each time I never felt at peace with it, and drove me crazy. Why didn’t I feel at peace about being baptized? It made absolutely no sense.

Fast forward to April-ish (honestly the months past committing to the World Race all blur together) I was watching a vlog of Training Camp and lo and behold! people were being baptized. In that moment I instantly knew that’s where I was gong to be baptized.

I was in perfect peace and confidence in that, but at the same time it kind of baffled me. Why not be baptized before my local church? Didn’t that just make more sense? Then I met C Squad, and I knew why God had called me to wait. In just a few short days I’d built a depth of relationship with these people that usually takes years to accomplish. I was about to spend one of the hardest years of my life with these brothers and sisters in Christ, who would be my church and family during that time. Of course they were supposed to be there when I was baptized!

I told this to the entirety of Training Camp, and while it was all true there was much more to the story that even I didn’t realize at the time. Sitting at the airport, one of the my squadmates asked me if I’d told my family beforehand that I was going to be baptized. I was stumped, because I totally should have and I totally didn’t. I spent days trying to figure out why I hadn’t, and being the over-analyzer that I sometimes am came up with several theories as to why it’d never occurred to me to tell anyone beforehand.

On the Saturday following coming home I was serving this lady at work who I’d told several months before that I’d be serving on an eleven month missions trip next year. She told me she hadn’t seen me at work in a couple weeks and had thought I’d already gone. So I told her I’d just spent eleven days training for it and would be leaving in early January. We talked about the World Race for a little bit and eventually she asked, “So what exactly will you be doing while your gone? Telling people about God?”

I told her our ministry would see a dramatic shift in Africa, but to the best of knowledge for the first six months we’d be, quote, “Mostly evangelism, so you know, sharing the gospel of… Jesus Christ.”

I involuntarily paused before saying Jesus’ name in such public setting. My sudden fear completely threw me off. I’d shared the gospel with many of my coworkers before, and the only other people around were customers and complete strangers who I didn’t care what they thought of me. So why was I ashamed to mention Christ now?

I spent the next day over-analyzing that now. The time of thought and prayer eventually brought both it and my silence about my baptism together. The fact was that I hadn’t told anyone I was going to be baptized because I was actually a little embarrassed about it.

So apparently being ashamed of Christ is something I struggle with. But since God brought this to light He has also done work conquering it for me. According to Galatians 1:10 being a servant of Christ will inherently make you unpopular with humanity. Which means that which I was ashamed of should actually give me reason to rejoice!

God blows my mind sometimes! In Acts 5 the apostles rejoiced that they were counted worthy of suffering dishonor for Christ’s name. These are the same guys who not to long ago were cowering from being associated with him. God takes what we were once ashamed of and instead gives us joy in it.

I cannot wait for the next opportunity to proclaim Christ’s name!